Really, I've been learning how to die.

Do you ever wonder about the meaning of life?
How so many people spend their entire lives just searching... for that one moment, one word, one person that will define their existence.
It's the belief that once you find that 'thing', that 'person' or whatever else -- you will have found the 'meaning of life'...

Many people believe life is to be lived in the service of others -- to God, first and foremost, to those who hate you, to those who love you and to everyone else in between.
It's a good philosophy that many have lived and died for.

Others think life is to be lived for the moment -- that everything is ending, everything is meaningless and the only meaning you can find is by living life to the fullest.
It's a partially good philosophy; I certainly don't think life is meaningless. But I do think life should be lived to the fullest.

One of the best philosophies I've encountered about the meaning of life was found in -- are you even surprised? -- a Switchfoot song.

Well, a 'Jon Foreman' song to be more specific.

It's from his Winter solo CD. In an effort to get the music out of his system -- and yet they didn't quite fit into being a 'Switchfoot' song -- Jon Foreman compiled 4 CD's, each representing a season. On each of those CD's, Jon perfectly captured the feeling//tone of each season.

Anyway, 'Learning How to Die' was a song that I didn't like at first. Well, one that I didn't listen to very clearly; I really can't say I don't like a song by Switchfoot//Jon Foreman.

It's just not done.

I still bought it off of iTunes and just let it rest in iPod land until the other day.
I had contemplating about life, death and the meaning of it all for awhile now; especially after reading the very compelling and thought-provoking book Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver. ((Free advertisement. I was not paid in any way to talk about this book. BUT IT'S A GOOD BOOK SO YOU SHOULD GO CHECK IT OUT.)) ((If Lauren Oliver wants to pay me to advertise Before I Fall -- PLEASE LET ME KNOW.))

I'm rambling.

The point of this?
The chorus -- just a few lines that really got me.

"She said, 'Friend, all along thought I was learning how to take, how to bend not how to break, how to live not how to cry... really I was learning how to die."


It was a wake-up call for me.

We don't live to just live~
We live with the knowing that someday, we will not live anymore.
Why should I learn how to live?
Living is for a short while.
Learn how to die.

And by that, I don't mean go on some morbid adventure to find out cool ways to die ((...thought that would certainly make for an interesting idea...)) ((I CALLED IT.))
I mean, live your life in a way that if you were to die tomorrow, a few hours from now, two minutes from now --
you have lived so much,
that it's ok to die.


I'm probably not making much sense.
This post has been in my drafts for awhile now; I can't seem to find the words to convey exactly what I feel in the way I want it to sound.

But eh,
that's the life of a writer isn't it?
Always in search of new words, new ideas... something, ANYTHING, to write about...
Or maybe that's just me.

I find it weird to consider myself a writer sometimes.
Mostly because of the comparison game; I'll read this extraordinary work and then rage because I don't feel even a tenth talented than the other writer.
Then I rage because I'm comparing.
Then I rage just to rage.

...and then I go drink a glass of chocolate milk.

I have yet to find a problem that cannot be solved with a glass of chocolate milk.


This post officially makes no sense.


Me ke aloha pau ole a hui ho.

<3